Wednesday.

Of course, its another lovely windy Wednesday today. was 41 this morning, now its in the 20s.. my hands are freezing and i haven't stepped outside! There should be a law that says when it is cold at all outside that houses should be warm!! not set to 72 and still freezing enough to be under two blankets, bare minimum.

Hubby has "grounded" me today, meaning that its too icky out there for me to go anywhere so i have to stay home. Oh well, so much for mail getting out today... i had hoped to get at least one package in the mail so Lizzie's buddy would have it for his birthday, but guess that isn't' happening. Sorry buddy!! I'll have it out soon, i promise!

I am very upset with myself. I had a free photobook from shutterfly from last year, and i forgot to redeem it, i finally got the motivation this week and realized it expired on the 5th.. gee, late much?? blah oh well.

Ugh, sorry, no witty remarks or anything, the wind is rattling the windows and I'm just too cold to think. The kids are sick, I'd swear Lizzie's in there coughing up a lung.. poor kiddo. One more month left with hubby.. that stinks. I love the man and these 'vacations" the military sends him on aren't easy to handle. First time, it was just me, last time, it was me and Lizzie and now its Lizzie, Aric and I... suck it up and deal, huh? Don't wanna...

Power

Ever think about the ramifications of giving a toddler some power?? For instance, when you move them from the crib to a toddler bed, do you realize the power you're putting in their hands?? You are giving them a choice to obey, a choice to disobey, in fact, you are putting power into their little grubby fingers. Some accept the power with grace and realize that its something wonderful that you've given them, a choice to go to bed when they want, while others, rub their hands together with a maniacal evil laugh, saying ha ha ha ha, i will NEVER go to bed!!

Lizzie has been swinging on that pendulum that goes from the one extreme to the other, mainly the evil laughing one lately. Nap time especially. She does get that nap, because regardless of how many times she stands at the gate to her door and yells, getout getout, she's not getting out till she gets a nap. Whether its 1 hour or 4. And, while I'm not of the mind to "break her" i am of the mind that mommy and daddy know what's best, and while she's throwing herself around crying, whether she knows its or not, she's tired. And, I'd like for her to choose to obey.

Nights seem to be getting a little better, she was asleep faster last night than the night before, nap time, not so much. Unfortunately, its not like i can take her outside to run it all off, its been really cold, rarely over 30 and more than half the time, snowy, so, i dunno, might put her in her snowsuit today to get some air. or not.

Speaking of the laugh, I just made breakfast and got her to get into her booster seat to give her some potatoes, eggs and sausage and went to eat mine. She then produced the maniacal laughter i was peaking of... Kids! lol. I wouldn't give up one mind numbing annoying second!

Snow

Ugh, its snowing again. Always with the snow! I cant' wait till june! I cant' believe i still have about 4 or 5 months left of the cold!! blech! So not this southerners choice for weather. I'd much prefer the warmth of the south. Or at least some place where its not cold for over half a year. I ventured out today to walmart to pick up the prints from when I got the kids pictures taken earlier this month when Lizzie and Aric's sister Meghan came to visit. I bought the CD, so i have rights to the pics and can print up as many more as i want.

Most of them came out pretty good. Now i get to mail them out to family and long lost friends. lol. I guess I need to pull out my cricut again and play with the new cartridge to make some kind of cards. Hope you are all staying warm!

My Big Girl!

Wow, looks like i've had more hits lately! Yay! Guess I had better step up my writing! lol.

After a less than impressive naptime yesterday, i decided that Lizzie gets to have the side of her crib off. Yep, Transitioning to the "toddler bed/Daybed". Now, it might seem bittersweet, but honestly, she's 2, very strongwilled and independant, it was the natural progression of things. It was a little bit before she went to sleep last night, quite a few, get back in the beds and such, but over all, she did awesomely. Same thing with nap time, once she got in the bed for sleep, she slept through the night and woke up later than her normal time! Now if we can only get potty training....

We've begun the "no's" They started yesterday or the day before, can't remember honestly, and it doesn't matter. I just would love for them to be DONE! Stubborn and Strong Willed along with the defiance is just a recipe for a mother in the looney bin, add on a teething infant and have that straight jacket ready with barely enough time to monogram my name on it!

Seriously though, It came out of NOWHERE, just suddenly refusing to do anything and everything. Doesnt' want this or that, but wants something, often coming back a little later asking for the thing that she refused, and if you happen to say ok, its only 50% if she'll eat it!

Im' still amazed. She's soo intelligent. And just a sweetheart. She loves her dad to no end and thinks he hung the moon. We're alike in that aspect. lol, he's a great guy and just hilarious when you dont' expect it. She loves me too, and her brother and sister, but that bond between her and her dad is awesome. Especially when you add in the fact that he was gone from the time she was 6 weeks till she was just after 1. Even before she was born, she was daddys girl. lol, Its amazing. Its too early to tell with Aric. He loves his dad immensely, you can tell already, and me too, daddy's there when he's having fun, but when he's tired or crabby he wants me.


*****
Ugh, its snowing again. Always with the snow! I cant' wait till june! I cant' believe i still have about 4 or 5 months left of the cold!! blech! I got some pics taken of the kids earlier this month when Lizzie and Aric's sister Meghan came to visit. I bought the CD, so i have rights to the pics and can print up as many more as i want.

Shopping with Kids

Shopping with kids...What an adventure!! some days are fine, only a rag doll (meaning, limp flopping on the ground) melt down or two, some days are heck just getting OUT the door. when these meltdowns happen in the store or anywhere, actually, i stand my ground, don't care about how embarrassed she's making me(cause really, why do i care what the person staring at me looking at me like I'm a bad mom thinks??), i refuse to be bullied.

some days when i KNOW the reason to the whining(missing nap - my fault) i will pick a toy, or let her choose one, like today. It can go one of two ways. she will play with it for a minute, tell me she "donwanit" and hand it back, then proceed to breakdown every 5 minutes. Those days, i hurry to get shopping done and get her to bed as fast as humanly possible; or she'll just talk and gibber jabber away.

Today was a missing nap day, but i needed to get groceries (what was missed last night). So, being a mom that wants her kid happy, i decided to go the toy route (which can be a hit or miss game) today it started out as a doodlebops keyboard, then the doodlebops guitar, then a backyardagins game that was too old for her, she looked at Elmo (the tmx one) and kept saying "gethimout" meaning let him out of the box. i told her only if he was bought. She didn't' want, "bye bye Elmo" then i found a Diego doll. Diego is her best friend ever (i guess in her mind) and will change her whole attitude if she's watching it or its about to come on and she gets threatened to tell Diego bye bye.

so, i see how much Diego is, not impressed with the "clearance price" so i let her hold it and we go down the "Diego/Dora" aisle. She then saw click (the camera) and Diego went bye bye fora talking camera. I tried to get her a Dora chair (she currently has spiderman) and told her that she could have it, but has to give up click. she handed me click, tried to put the chair in the cart (her brother is sideways on the cart, so no room) i turned it upside down, its now touching her head. she sees click on the shelf and is like CLICK!! and reaching. I told her its either the chair or click, and she wants click, so back goes the chair. she then cooperates the rest of the trip, puts click in the cart, looks around, then pulls it back out, puts it in, pulls it out.

she gets crabby and wants some milk. (we had been to the mall and now walmart) I didn't get her any in between stores, so i know she's thirsty, so i grab one of those in the plastic bottles and hand it to her (keeping mind on the fact that she got a different kind open last night and took off the foil!!) I finish getting what groceries i was going to get then check out, she gets her milk back, puts on her coat and we go out to the truck, i grab her sippy and fill her milk and put her in the seat. happy kiddo, happy mommy, sleeping baby.

BUT, i have to stress this, we go out shopping or somewhere all the time, so she's content most of the time , unless nap time is missed, which unfortunately, is about half the time.. at Christmas time, i put coats down and shop till she's sleeping..

My babies

It happened to me... the oddest thing. Yesterday, at church, i was suddenly overcome with emotions about my little guy. Other than the amount of pain, it was like i would have wanted his birth to be. When he came out, they placed him on my belly, he was this warm wet little guy so skinny. I got to rub him a bit, but due to the multiple times i was given drugs, he was sleepy and not waking fast enough. So they took him to the warming table. I kept saying, cry baby, breath, come on!! Just as they were about to give him some oxygen, he gave a sad cry, then as they rubbed him more, he got mad and gave a massive wail. The most wonderful sound a momma needs to hear.

I had asked to nurse him after he was born, so they wrapped him up and gave him back. He nursed for AN HOUR!! I should have known that he was going to be my eater. lol. Just thinking about that made me take him from my hubby and hold him tight. How precious he is!!

I didn't' get that experience with Lizzie. It was a great birth (labors suck, but the deliveries were awesome) as well, better pain control, for sure! But, they showed me to her, then took off to the NICU with her. Nope, nothing wrong with her at all, but they wanted to monitor my heart for 24 hours after i had her, which was apparently open knowledge to the staff, but not to me. So, I got to spend maybe a half hour with her total that day (later that day, when i was wheeled out of ICU to the NICU to see my baby, after i kept crying to the nurse - there was no regular nursery) And severely emotional. So, the next day when i FINALLY got her, i didn't' want to let her go ever again.

She was my "perfect" baby. But, in all honesty, i don't' think that Aric cries more or less than her, it just seems overwhelming at times because i have two trying to keep my attention.

I am thankful for both. They are my miracles. Miracles from a miracle. Yep, i was one of those babies that wasn't supposed to make it. God had other plans, and has so blessed me. Some days i just need to be reminded of that.

Have a great day!

Aric

On the note of getting older, i put Aric in the jumparoo (used to be his sisters) last night, and now, i can't get him to nap or relax, he wants to be in an upright position, so, no more papasin swing, no more laying in his chair, must be sitting up or eating. Has decided you MUST entertain him in his waking hours, and hold him in his sleeping ones.

He loves to laugh and interact with you, as well, wants to sit up, he's been working on his core ab muscles lately. If he keeps it up, he'll have a flat stomach before i do!!

He allowed me to sleep till 7am this morning, then was so fussy i just took him downstairs to give him his bottle and to watch the rest of the heart break kid. wasn't impressed. at all. didn't' realize it was a Farrelly brothers movie. oh well.

He then fell asleep on me just as i got hungry. I didn't' think to get my breakfast before i started to feed him, nor did I expect for him to just pass out hard on me either. Kids! How have i not lost weight by now?? lol. Anytime I put anyone anywhere and start to do something, someone is yelling for me. Like, i just laid Aric down and bam, the minute my butt hits the chair, he starts to cry or make the I'm going to cry sound, same thing at night, almost in bed, or worse, in bed and almost relaxed, and bam, crying. At night, i have to worry about him waking his sister, during the day, i just prefer him not to cry. if he cries and Lizzie's awake, its "he's crying baby's crying, he's crying" jumping up and down and acting like his cries energize her... *sigh* Its like a bad cartoon or sitcom...

I started sewing a quilt for Lizzie today. It has 4 inch squares and Dora in some of them and i haven't decided how big it will be, or how much of it i have. I think i might do alternating squares, its a 9 patch, but i don't think I'll have enough of them to make a decent sized blanket. Oh well, I'll figure it out, always do.

Getting Older

Some days, it feels like it lasts forever, some days go as fast as air escaping out of a balloon. Time seems to speed up as you age, and to go even faster if you have a child, really fast if there is more than one. Its hard to believe that my eldest is 2 and my youngest is 3.5 months. I'll be 33 this year and hubs will be 37. Unreal! What seems more insane is the fact that in June, I will have been out of high school for 15 years!

High school was a interesting time for me. I LOVED school in all forms, couldn't' stand to be sick, cause then I'd be sent home. I wasn't popular, but not unpopular either, just average. Teachers loved me, i got along with most of everyone that i went to school with. Didn't date much in the normal sense of the word.. Didn't have a great bod, barely any boobs, but always had a nice bubble butt. lol. I guess one could call me a miss goody two shoes. But i didn't' care, about what anyone thought of me. I was who i was and that's it. That was me, sometimes i wish it still was. But for me, as i got older, i cared more and more about what people think.

So much so, it changed me, my personality, even my core self. Every now and then, I'd realize it, and try to change back, but life has, for the most part, changed me and shaped me to be who I am today, like me or not, love me or leave me. My ex made me a weakling, till i finally stood up and started to take my life back, then he was done with me. I was definitely better off, then i made a bad decision, with my next relationship, but at least i got a great friend out of it. Now days, I am close to that person some days and far others, which is not a bad thing, if we don't' grow and change, then we're not learning.

This year besides taking more time for my family, quality time, and loosing weight, i resolve to write more. I am hoping that using this as a creative outlet, then it will loosen up my creative block i've had going on for years.

Up Late Again

For several years now, i think it started in 04 when Hubs deployed the first time, i stay up too late for me to function well as early as my kids need me to, no matter how tired i am, I can't go to sleep early. So, I'm sitting in bed, hunched over my laptop, feet together, knees bent with my left leg asleep. Wondering how i can eat so much and not feel satisfied. I swear i ate everything in the house at least once today, except cereal, and then also ate lunch out. PMS?? no clue!

So, I sit here and wonder if my lack of sleep, coincides with the lack of weight loss, the excessive hunger, or am i just a lazy blimp who likes to eat? Eh, who knows.

So, I get to look forward to another deployment. not fun. They suck, but i understand them. Poor hubs, is just worried that our daughter, who had the last year with daddy, will feel like she's been abandoned. I told him that as long as he calls and makes her another video before he leaves and spends as much time as possible with her now, that she wont' feel like that. Aric will get his own video too, and he'll go his first year watching that as Lizzie did her first year, and they will both love him and feel he's there for them.

Kids are amazing!! They process things so much different than we do. My daughter loves the "yardagins" and "Diego" and "dorda" and "bootds".

But when he was deployed the first time, i'd play his video of him talking to her and reading to her, so when he came home after she was 1, she knew him when he came home and acted as though he had been there the whole time. For me, it was one of the longest years of my life. Kids are awesome.

its only the wind.

woke up to a major windstorm, we had one beautiful day around 60 degrees!! All the snow had melted and it was beautiful. today it was windy, not just the wind blowing, but the wind howling and blowing everything all over the place. Today was, of course, trash day as well. Did you know that wind + trash cans at every house = one horrid mess? Well, after hubby went to work, i looked out side and one of the gusts (50+) had just hit and the trashcan was on the ground, so i went outside to pick it up, 99% of the trashcans on our street were not only down, but open and all over the place. So, i had a brilliant thought, I'll pull it to the house and find something to secure it to the tree, so mine doesn't throw dirty diapers all over the neighborhood.

As i put my plan into motion, I'm dragging it to the garage door, another wind gust comes up, hits the can just right and blows the lid up, let me paint you a picture. I'm out there in a pair of pj's with a jacket and slippers on it. its one of those 30+gallon trash cans with the lid attached that reclines back on one wheel to move it around. the wind picks up the lid at speeds way to fast for someone, and the lid comes back and smacks me in the face! not just in my face, but my nose and glasses, slams the glasses into my bridge on my nose and slams my nose to my face. I was in shock for a minute, just thinking what the heck had just happened?? I want to cry, but want to make sure that it doesn't happen again, so i move it against the house, grabbing my face saying aaaaahhhhhhh!!!

I keep waiting for the blood, i just knew it was broken and i was going to look like Marsha Brady from the brady bunch movie and really draw attention to my face. people were going to snicker at me and point, ugh. I quickly found a bungee cord, which of course, was 4 inches too small for me to reach around the tree in the front yard, thought i had it one time, but alas, the bungee cord came around that tree at the speed of light and hit me in the arm!! Once again, what the heck!! ugh, so i run back in the house grab the cat leash and tie it and the bungee to the tree and the can. Success!! Now to tend to what has to be my deformed nose.

I look in the mirror, hmm, just a little swollen, touch it, YEOUCH! no blood though. ok.. hmm, wow, what a migraine just now!! ugh and why am i nauseated?? So, i go to my go to people for info my Spunky Moms! They advised me to at least to call, then posted the info for a concussion. Okay, so i have a few of those symptoms, so i called the line, had to leave a message for an advice nurse, and waited for them to call me back, getting shakier and more nauseous every second.

When they called back, they basically said, lets get the info, answer these questions and based on your answers, you either go to the ER or to the acute care clinic. Great! now to call hubby. By the time i got through to him, they had given me an appt for a half hour later to be seen. Long story short, just a contusion, not a cuncussion, here's a shot of phenergrin for the nausea, go sleep it off. whoopee. lol.

3 hours later, i am still lightheaded, my neck and back are sore, my nose hurts at the bridge and i feel icky, but happy i could sleep!.

Happy New Year!

So, a new year is upon us already. Hopefully this early morning isn't a preview of things to come!

Once again, i fell asleep last night not turning anything off. TV was on and so was the computer when i was awoken to a wail. Little Aric, like any 3 month old says hey, there is nothing in my mouth, that's just not right! So I jump out of bed, praying i don't' stub my toe on anything as i race to his room, hoping he doesn't wake his sisters or his dad. I put the passi in his mouth, give his cute little cheek a rub, turn on his aquarium with music, and walk out of the room, I get back to my bed, and WAHHHHHH, again... I make it back to his bed give him the passi, placing his burp cloth just so, holding it in its place, and wait. all is peaceful and quiet, so i sneak back to my room, only to hear him rooting for it on the monitor.. *sigh* I have this for about a 15 minute stretch.. Then, i go to the bathroom, only to hear him peeved as all get out, except I'm stuck in the bathroom.. I hurry as fast as i can, and help him with the lovely passi that I didn't want either of my kids to need, and head back to bed.

So, he is finally back to sleep and, of course, NOW its Lizzie's turn.. I sneak in her room, tell her I'll get her some milk, NOOOOOO, then begins a crying medley that is sure to wake the whole house! I tell her I'm getting her some milk, and she's going back to sleep, which gives me another NOOOOO with a wail. I mostly close her door behind me, go grab some pants to make it to the freezer section of the house to get my little early riser a milk. I am hoping to save a precious hour of rest or two. So, i get back upstairs and she's lying on her Dora pillow waiting quietly and patiently for her milk. I give it to her, cover her up with her Dora blanket, hand her her big pillow like Dora and walk out of her room, closing the door going back to bed with a sigh of relief.

Which of course is short lived. I gave a toddler a cup of COLD milk, what did i expect??