And more OLD MYSPACE blog posts Nov 17, 2006 11 months today!!! Current mood:thoughtful Lizzie is 11 months old!!! 1 month till she is a year old!! Its amazing how time can fly in one part of your life and be so slow in another. Happy 11 months to Lizzie!!! Nov 25 2006 Two MORE!!!! Current mood:bouncy New Teeth!! We've got NEW TEETH!! yay. two more bottom teeth, up to 8 FINALLY! Dec 5, 2006 feeling crappy Current mood:lonely Its been a little bit since i've blogged last. Had a holiday reciepe party last friday morning. had a bunch of people RSVP, but only 3 showed and only 2 stayed a bit. I had been up late and up early cleaning. Lizzie started to get a runny nose and congestion last week. then she started with a barking sounding cough. Then I started to get sick as well. I have a stuffy/runny nose and cough. At the docs, i get diagnosed with sinusitus and lizzie gets diagnosed with.... NOTHING. she doesn't cough, her nose doesn't run or anything!! i'm like it was that this morning.... 20 minutes later, gee imagine that, its back!! ugh SO, now i get to be sick while lizzies fine.. ugh... i am sooo stressed out!! I feel like I just need a break and lizzies just full of energy!! i gave her spagetti o's she must be like me(hates them), cause she threw them everywhere but in her mouth... stinking messes!! my back hurts, and i just feel like crap and just wanna go to bed.. but once i'm in bed, then the blues begin. I miss my honey. I miss him being here, I miss his smile, the twinkle in his eye, all of him. I miss his arms around me and his lips on mine. i have 30 days left, and it just seems like forever!! Lizzie has less than 2 weeks before she'll be one, less than that till her first birthday party.. i've invited quite a few people.. i know that stacy and her family will come, will anyone else? UGH i hate stressing over things i have no control over!! this friday night, i'm hosting game night for the married women group i'm involved in.. i wonder how it will go Looks like there are only 4 yes' and 2 maybe's.... oh well, it seems like anytime I do anything at my house that hardly any people show. And I hate hate hate hate hate the thought of being alone for christmas. I miss my hubby and I hate to spend another holiday with out him. It just doesnt' seem right. Nothing is as good as it could have been without him. And yeah, he's not much on doing anything but, we have each other. I just feel extra alone this year. Everyone seems soo busy and wrapped up in their stuff that i feel like an intruder calling. I spend most nights home alone. Its almost like I only hear from people returning my calls or the ones i made. I really am tired of crying. and being alone. Its like last time, only worse, you look like crap and people are just like, oh its cause the kid wore you out. And people dont' want to KNOW how you're REALLY doing, it makes them uncomfortable. So, you suck it up the best you can, you cope however you can, you try to keep everything as normal as possible as comfortable as possible, cause change makes you nervous. And you try to talk to the one you love, and it always comes out wrong, they end up taking it the wrong way and then you're left frustrated and upset, then come more tears. Sometimes it feels like you should give up. But you can't as, that's not what you should do, not how you are, so you just buck up and try not to say the wrong thing. well, i need to go check o lizzie, she's not making much noise and she's there with unwrapped presents... And make sure i dont' try to rip my toe off jumping over the gate.