Thursday, December 18, 2008

Another Apology


So sorry its been SO long since i last posted! Hubby finally got home the day before Halloween and after a LONG wait that day we got him that evening after 6pm. The kids were SOOO excited when they saw him. it was really great.

a BIG FUNNY!!!

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Suggestion : Go Pee Before Reading this!!!!!

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.Nothing!I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative?IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. the recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.

My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!

P.S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The Waiting Game

The Waiting Game SUCKS!! seriously, just send my hubby home now! this limbo stuff is crazy!! He's due home any time, but apparently not today :-( I can keep holding my breath for tomorrow.....

I love ya honey!!

Kids are more than ready to have daddy back too. I know I'm more than ready to be a 2 parent household again.

MWAH my love!

Cute Pics!

















Sams Club does awesome with these pics!! kiddos were a little crabby, but they still came out cute!

SingSnap!

Now i have found this new addiction.. like i needed more, right?? but its called SingSnap, and its (to me) like online Karaoke! and OMG its a blast!! i can't sing, but i do try! And i have a blast, so who cares! they dont' have alot of the songs I've tried to sing, but they've got a decent amount. I've done a few... lol. DO NOT feel obligated to go look, to listen or even to be nice about it. LOL. don't' be mean though. i don't' need it, i know i cant' sing. LOL


http://www.singsnap.com/snap/r/ba108afb3

http://www.singsnap.com/snap/r/bbe6d4f5

http://www.singsnap.com/snap/r/bfc7ba29

http://www.singsnap.com/snap/r/bce57cd9

http://www.singsnap.com/snap/r/c4f33501

http://www.singsnap.com/snap/r/b7f62b51

http://www.singsnap.com/snap/r/c311ff419

my friends little man did this one - http://www.singsnap.com/snap/r/c3c2d829 he's awesome!! (and 8!)

WMYSTHE!! Wow, My Readership Seems To Have Exploded!

676 views, eh? nice! I'm sure its due to my acro buds! Hi Guys!!! I just love playing with Y'all! You keep me up too late, but eh, its a blast!! (most of the time!) I just feel bad, i tell people to come look and then i stop posting!! ha ha! oh well, I've been stressing out and being lazy!

But, i will do better (its my mantra, i try!) i keep saying, i need to blog about this or that, then i sit down at the computer and get sucked in. LOL.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Busy Busy

Okay, so one of the reasons that i don't blog as often as i should is that I'm a procrastinator (aka lazy, sorry for those that do procrastinate, but that's just me)





On the other hand are the kids. Lets put it this way, since i started typing this, I've been up 2 times to stop them from whatever they are trying to destroy. :-)



Last week alone, After the party, my in laws were here (thank you Memere & Pepere!), then an hour after they left my parents came (thank you mom and dad) and they were here till Wednesday. In this time, we ran around alot and played Wii alot, lol. Of course, Aric decided that this was the time to begin to get sick.



He hadn't been in daycare since the Friday before and started getting a cold on Monday night and it got worse Tuesday and i got him seen on his birthday (yeah... BOOO, lol) He was pronounced with an upper respiratory infection (aka cold here, he gets at least one a month here fun fun - NOT) and a viral rash from that. I took him to care on Thursday and they called me back and sent him home saying that he had a rash that looked like he was getting hand foot and mouth. I explained to them that he had a rash that had been there for 4 months and he was going to dermatology for it next week (i.e. this week) well, they said well, ok, bring a note saying the doc looked yesterday and it will be ok. So i called and waited till they said yes, we have a note for you just come pick it up. so i got ready to go pick it up and the daycare called back and said he had to go home now. GRRRRRRRRRR..



Wednesdays and Fridays are normally time i take for me. that week it had gotten re-arranged cause Aric's birthday fell on a wed and i didn't think it was fair to take him on his birthday. By this time it was 330, aric had only been in care a few hours and i had only gotten one work out in. no real time for just chilling out like i like. Guess I'm glad i didn't' go to a movie!! (i WILL this week though!!)



So i picked him up and he was a grump, i figured at this point to take both kids cause i was already aggravated and didn't need to worry about being late to pick up Lizzie. Probably not the best course of action, as they were both ramped up and just pushed and pushed and pushed, plus the fact that i was arguing with the clinic about who Aric's doc was and why he needed to be seen, etc... i was pretty much ready to run away from home, trying to not reduce into a small ball in the corner and cry. blah.



The next morning i got him an apt, got Lizzie taken to daycare and went for the wait at the docs. Well, he was pronounced with hand foot and mouth disease. but only on his toes and an eczema type rash on his thighs... and he couldn't go back to daycare till Monday. So i took him to the nail salon with me and got my nails done a pedicure and my eyebrows done (they did it too small past my arches, grr) he was cranky and crabby, which made me the same. Then we picked up Lizzie and she wanted to tell mommy how it was and it was a long night. lol. Those are nights i need a buddy to hang out with, but everyone was busy, so i just called an old friend and talked to some on line buds.

So, while yes, a quiet week for some of you, this was just alot in a few days.

well, i gotta go, rushing out the door, kids are crabby, but i think they'll be fine once we get to the play date. i still gotta shower!! lol. later!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Ok, My Tattoo. :D

Since i said I'd post, I'm posting, LOL. Yes, i got a tattoo, 2 weeks ago, and i love it. I waited 12 years, well, waited is not right... i put off for 12 years cause I'm a wuss. But after thinking about it and talking to my hubby about it, i decided that i could do it. So, i did it. I got it on my lower back, just above my rump. its a heart with squiggles, it hurt SO BAD, lol. But I'm glad i did it.

Okay, with out further ado, here it is.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Just a Quick Post

Well, my little man is 1. And sick. Of course, poor thing, if its not one thing with him, its another. His party went good, not many people came, but it filled our living room, his memere and pepere were there as well as some really good friends. The next day one set of grandparents left and the other arrived.

My parents came and they brought the mother load. Toys from one end of the house to the other. it was INSANE. :D. It was a great visit, didn't even get any grief when my tattoo was discovered. (yes i got one, I'll do another post later)

We played the Wii and just had fun. They go to bed WAY earlier than i do, so i just watched TV and played acro upstairs.

We were supposed to go to Niagara Falls today, but with Aric sick and under the weather, we have a Dr appt instead. Parents are gone now, and i have to leave soon to take the kids to the doc. I'm sure they hate to see me coming. LOL.

Anyways, i hope you are all having wonderful days and I'll be sure to write more soon.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Has It Been A Year??




Wow, its so hard to believe its already been almost a year! Aric will be 1 next Wednesday. He went from a preemie (only 3 weeks) at 7lbs to the 26lb little man i have crawling all over. Its amazing the difference in him and Lizzie. I am just in awe that I've been giving such great blessings in my kids (and my hubby) and know how blessed I've been.
I am giving him a simple party on Saturday, just here at the house, invited a few people from church, and his daycare and such. of course, i kept forgetting to bring the invites. (so stinking blonde some days!!) so i will have to send out email invites.... grrr. After the party, I'll add some pics.
I am just amazed and in awe.... yeah, i know, i keep repeating myself. (its my MUSINGS) He refused baby food till he was 8 months. then only haphazardly ate it, refused a sippy till he was 11 months, then embraced it completely. He's on sippys only, no formula, straight milk and loves table food. Can eat a whole Mac N Cheese kids meal from burger king. (yes, amazing!) and has a love of life and people. Smart and stubborn (aren't we all?) and wants what he wants when he wants it. LOL.
Well, i need to get to cleaning!!