Sometimes, we focus on so many little things that we forget the big picture, and everything else. Life becomes so busy and stressful that we focus on that and not on what makes us happy. I am blessed to have a wonderfully sexy and smart and sweet husband that loves me and that i love so very much. Then i got doubly blessed with my two sweet kids. Life sucks sometimes, circumstances suck, but we cant' take our eyes off our blessings or the one who gives them.
I have been focusing on everything but my blessings and the blessing giver. And that screwed me up, my thoughts, my focus, everything was skewed. Sometimes we just need a reminder of our many many blessings. Blessings that would kill me to have taken away cause i was ignoring them or not giving them the attention that they deserve. by not focusing and counting my blessings, i ultimately hurt myself.
I just want to say that I am so very thankful for my blessings, my family, my life. Life is something we take waay too much for granted. Sometimes we look and only see "death and destruction" when we just want to wallow in the mud. Its when we finally look up and realize that the focus is wrong.
Yeah, I'm talking in circles. its my random musings. ;)
I am so thankful for that man that lays down his life and goes off to put it out there, if needed for someone else. For the man that isn't' afraid to stand up and serve. My husband, my soldier, my love. I am so very proud of him, and just am in awe of him. 3 times to leave everything that is "comfortable", home, and his family, not by his choice, but makes it his choice to be a soldier.
I try, sometimes its not my best, sometimes i just suck at being a mom and wife to my kids and hubby. but i cant' just let life toss me about, way too nauseating. :-D I used to stand on my feet (with help) but i took myself out of the helping arms of God to just "do it myself" and wallow in feeling sorry for myself. How selfish of me. So very selfish. I am very ashamed of that. My family comes first, period. Not me. Time to get off my tush and be who i am supposed to be.
Sometimes, little things can make you evaluate your life and change, sometimes you have to go through hell and back before you decide to change. I prefer not to go through that.
Honey, i love you so very much, thank you for your service, thank you for being the man you are. I cant' wait to see you again. I miss you.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
A Movie- lol
Kung Fu Panda - Take the kids you wont' be disappointed. I went in with less than desire to see this, but since i didnt' take Lizzie to see Horton Hears a Who (which i enjoyed very much) I decided since she wanted to see "panda mommy panda" that we would. We went to the 1145 showing and that was perfect. she got popcorn and her milk and she moved about halfway through the movie to the seat beside me from the double stroller, and sat enthralled. Yes, i heard the Tiger mommy, Monkey mommy, Snake mommy, Look mommy a panda, etc. but she wasnt' loud and i was soo very impressed with her. Aric fussed a little at the beginning, got his bottle, spit alot of it up and then took a nap.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
More Movies.
National Treasure Book of Secrets. I really enjoyed this movie, its on dvd now. Continues where the old one left off.
The Time Machine. Guy Pearce is the main character. It was good as well, and very enjoyable.
Yeah, sorry, no big reviews, my brain is saying go to sleep.
The Time Machine. Guy Pearce is the main character. It was good as well, and very enjoyable.
Yeah, sorry, no big reviews, my brain is saying go to sleep.
Teeth! and other updates
We finally have teeth! 2 in a day! He won't let me see if there are more, but i have seen 2, i know that several were trying to break through at the same time, so its just a waiting game.
My little guy finally has some teeth! 8 months.. later than i figured he'd get them. But it started, and i hope and pray that the others aren't as much trouble as these first two were.
Aside from the not wanting to eat much at all, both kids seem to be doing good. Bronchitis has left us finally. Hoping that it stays away. 2 year olds and nebulizers don't mix well.
Lizzie is flourishing in her toddler program and always wants to "play with kids" no matter what time of day it is anytime that she gets bored or we pass a playground.
Sun still isn't' out in full force yet, weather is starting to get a little warmer, but with the rain and clouds and COLD its not feeling like almost summer at all. its 1 step warmer 2 steps colder. Eventually, I'm sure.
Still working on my scrap booking swaps, completed another one tonight and hope to finish up at least 2 before Friday.
Still doing my weight loss challenge. Finally found some motivation to exercise, wish i would have been doing it all along. Still snacking too much here and there. Have changed a hair in size, not noticeable, but no real change on the scale. Hoping that the size and weight starts to drop.
Miss my sweet sweet man so very much. I can't wait to see him again. The kids miss him too, and always react positively when its "daddy time" on TV. Aric just stares transfixed as his daddy reads him stories, and gives big smiles.
We are getting a few babbles and such for now, i have heard Dada mo ma and more garbley gook, but its just trying out sounds, not really saying words. YET.
Looking forward to spending time with my girls this summer. I hope it goes wonderfully awesome and smooth.
Also looking forward to seeing family. Its always nice to see family.
up way too late.
My little guy finally has some teeth! 8 months.. later than i figured he'd get them. But it started, and i hope and pray that the others aren't as much trouble as these first two were.
Aside from the not wanting to eat much at all, both kids seem to be doing good. Bronchitis has left us finally. Hoping that it stays away. 2 year olds and nebulizers don't mix well.
Lizzie is flourishing in her toddler program and always wants to "play with kids" no matter what time of day it is anytime that she gets bored or we pass a playground.
Sun still isn't' out in full force yet, weather is starting to get a little warmer, but with the rain and clouds and COLD its not feeling like almost summer at all. its 1 step warmer 2 steps colder. Eventually, I'm sure.
Still working on my scrap booking swaps, completed another one tonight and hope to finish up at least 2 before Friday.
Still doing my weight loss challenge. Finally found some motivation to exercise, wish i would have been doing it all along. Still snacking too much here and there. Have changed a hair in size, not noticeable, but no real change on the scale. Hoping that the size and weight starts to drop.
Miss my sweet sweet man so very much. I can't wait to see him again. The kids miss him too, and always react positively when its "daddy time" on TV. Aric just stares transfixed as his daddy reads him stories, and gives big smiles.
We are getting a few babbles and such for now, i have heard Dada mo ma and more garbley gook, but its just trying out sounds, not really saying words. YET.
Looking forward to spending time with my girls this summer. I hope it goes wonderfully awesome and smooth.
Also looking forward to seeing family. Its always nice to see family.
up way too late.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Change
Change is hard. Change can be good or bad. Change sucks. Change is hard. That's my thoughts on change. In saying that, i have to change. I have to change how i am or i wont' fare well in the future.
I'm overweight. Quite a bit overweight. Have been for some years now. 20lbs ago, it didn't bother me, but you add on those and it weighs heavily on me. (no puns intended) The more i weigh, the less i want to do anything about it. I see the scale go up, and i get discouraged, more depressed.. I see it go down and i get hope.
I eat too much.. I eat when I'm bored, i eat when I'm not. I eat when I'm sad, i eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm relaxing i eat when I'm busy. Point is, i eat. Doesn't matter what it is, most of the time, its not even cause it tastes good. Its there. Food can be a buddy. Food doesn't judge you, food doesn't tell you you're fat. Its just there, waiting to give you nourishment and comfort. Sometimes not either. 2 weeks ago, i started eating less. No exercise yet, so to speak. Nothing that is consistent, nothing that has stuck.
See, I'm afraid. Afraid of failing. Afraid of change. Mostly just afraid i will fail. And i have and do constantly. I think i sabotage myself. Tell myself that it doesn't' matter, but it does. Between the Hashimotos and my heart, it does matter a whole lot. And still I'm afraid and i let that stop me. Its why i stopped writing blogs lately, its why i don't' exercise. I say I'm just lazy, but its more than that. When i write, its part of me. Something inside of me that i release. I love to write and i miss it so terribly much. So why don't i? Fear. Apparently, i have a lot of fear.
I hate to be alone. And no I'm not "alone" in the physical sense. My kids are here, but its not the same. You can't really talk to a toddler or an infant and get back what you need from your spouse. And you can't really expect your friends to give you that kind of support and love that your husband can. And even though i know I'm loved and i know I'm missed, its still hard. I'm afraid of telling my husband that I'm even doing a weight loss challenge, much less two of them, i don't' want to fail in his eyes. I don't' want to seem weak. (yes, i know my thoughts are all over the place, i flip when i can't go on about a subject for a bit) I don't' want to disappoint the man who left me in charge of everything. He had no choice in the matter, when the army says go, you go. And i know he'll be home "soon" everyone has a different definition of that word.
Back to change. Life throws you curve balls. And i believe that life is allowed to, so we can learn. I should have learned by now, that doing nothing but eating myself silly isn't' working. And in order to change, you have to want to. Have the desire to. So, i am going to make the change. I wont' always do what i hope to, i will fail a few times, but i cant' let it stand in the way of continuing what i need to do. I need to be healthy, and in order to be healthy, i need to loose the weight and get in shape, for my kids, my husband and myself.
I'm overweight. Quite a bit overweight. Have been for some years now. 20lbs ago, it didn't bother me, but you add on those and it weighs heavily on me. (no puns intended) The more i weigh, the less i want to do anything about it. I see the scale go up, and i get discouraged, more depressed.. I see it go down and i get hope.
I eat too much.. I eat when I'm bored, i eat when I'm not. I eat when I'm sad, i eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm relaxing i eat when I'm busy. Point is, i eat. Doesn't matter what it is, most of the time, its not even cause it tastes good. Its there. Food can be a buddy. Food doesn't judge you, food doesn't tell you you're fat. Its just there, waiting to give you nourishment and comfort. Sometimes not either. 2 weeks ago, i started eating less. No exercise yet, so to speak. Nothing that is consistent, nothing that has stuck.
See, I'm afraid. Afraid of failing. Afraid of change. Mostly just afraid i will fail. And i have and do constantly. I think i sabotage myself. Tell myself that it doesn't' matter, but it does. Between the Hashimotos and my heart, it does matter a whole lot. And still I'm afraid and i let that stop me. Its why i stopped writing blogs lately, its why i don't' exercise. I say I'm just lazy, but its more than that. When i write, its part of me. Something inside of me that i release. I love to write and i miss it so terribly much. So why don't i? Fear. Apparently, i have a lot of fear.
I hate to be alone. And no I'm not "alone" in the physical sense. My kids are here, but its not the same. You can't really talk to a toddler or an infant and get back what you need from your spouse. And you can't really expect your friends to give you that kind of support and love that your husband can. And even though i know I'm loved and i know I'm missed, its still hard. I'm afraid of telling my husband that I'm even doing a weight loss challenge, much less two of them, i don't' want to fail in his eyes. I don't' want to seem weak. (yes, i know my thoughts are all over the place, i flip when i can't go on about a subject for a bit) I don't' want to disappoint the man who left me in charge of everything. He had no choice in the matter, when the army says go, you go. And i know he'll be home "soon" everyone has a different definition of that word.
Back to change. Life throws you curve balls. And i believe that life is allowed to, so we can learn. I should have learned by now, that doing nothing but eating myself silly isn't' working. And in order to change, you have to want to. Have the desire to. So, i am going to make the change. I wont' always do what i hope to, i will fail a few times, but i cant' let it stand in the way of continuing what i need to do. I need to be healthy, and in order to be healthy, i need to loose the weight and get in shape, for my kids, my husband and myself.
Friday, May 23, 2008
And More Movies!
No, i dont' go to the movies all the time. I am just taking the time now, since i haven't in a while. My awesomely wonderful hubby got me the greatest mothers day present (besides him being home). He got me some gift cards to the movies! So, that's why i've gone more in the last few weeks than i have in a long time.
Just saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It was done in True Indy fashion. Full of Action Adventure and yes, just a little bit of romance tossed in, just a little bit. :) Well worth the time and money to see on the big screen.
Also saw The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. Very very good, was well worth the money and the time to watch it on the big screen. More Fighting, new faces.
Just saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It was done in True Indy fashion. Full of Action Adventure and yes, just a little bit of romance tossed in, just a little bit. :) Well worth the time and money to see on the big screen.
Also saw The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. Very very good, was well worth the money and the time to watch it on the big screen. More Fighting, new faces.
Hold your Babies (big and small) tight!
I am just sad. I just found out that Steven Curtis Chapman's family just had a horrific accident. Their baby girl was killed in an accident at home. One of her siblings accidentally ran her over in the driveway.
This just breaks my heart for them, and makes me want to go wake up that little toddler of mine (even though she just barely got to sleep) and just hold her tight. No matter how crazy she makes me sometimes, I am so very thankful for her and her brother. They are awesome little kids, different as the day is from the night. They make me smile, they make me laugh, they have also made me cry. But, that is what kids do, and that's what makes them individual little people.
They grow up too fast, way too fast. My little guy is going to be 8 months tomorrow, my little girl is almost 2.5, and my step daughter will be 12 tomorrow. Time is just going WAY too fast.
If you can, please say a prayer for the Chapman Family, they can use all the comfort they can get. Don't' forget to pray for the little people in your life. All kids are someones baby and need to be held sometimes.
This just breaks my heart for them, and makes me want to go wake up that little toddler of mine (even though she just barely got to sleep) and just hold her tight. No matter how crazy she makes me sometimes, I am so very thankful for her and her brother. They are awesome little kids, different as the day is from the night. They make me smile, they make me laugh, they have also made me cry. But, that is what kids do, and that's what makes them individual little people.
They grow up too fast, way too fast. My little guy is going to be 8 months tomorrow, my little girl is almost 2.5, and my step daughter will be 12 tomorrow. Time is just going WAY too fast.
If you can, please say a prayer for the Chapman Family, they can use all the comfort they can get. Don't' forget to pray for the little people in your life. All kids are someones baby and need to be held sometimes.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
More Movies.
I really DO have other things to blog about, just get too busy to do it.
Iron Man - totally awesome movie!! I honestly cant' tell you what made it so cool, it just is. :P Not a cop out, just the truth. Has everything in it you could want. Make sure to stay past all the credits and see the ending. I didn't - :( I hope to find it somewhere i can see it on line, or i just may have to watch it again. Stars Robert Downy Jr and Gwyneth Paltrow.
Disturbia - If you like to be spooked and love suspense, then you will LOVE this movie! It was great!! Shia LeBeouf and David Morse. Even the website is creepy, LOL.
Go to the Movies!! Its a great stress reliever, even if you have kids with you. :D
Iron Man - totally awesome movie!! I honestly cant' tell you what made it so cool, it just is. :P Not a cop out, just the truth. Has everything in it you could want. Make sure to stay past all the credits and see the ending. I didn't - :( I hope to find it somewhere i can see it on line, or i just may have to watch it again. Stars Robert Downy Jr and Gwyneth Paltrow.
Disturbia - If you like to be spooked and love suspense, then you will LOVE this movie! It was great!! Shia LeBeouf and David Morse. Even the website is creepy, LOL.
Go to the Movies!! Its a great stress reliever, even if you have kids with you. :D
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
So, i had a test ran a few weeks ago to determine my probability for developing this auto-immune disease. It came back positive.. very positive.
I was really disappointed about it, as i was hoping this would skip me. Why? who knows. I'm no more important than anyone else, no more special. Just really didn't' want to get this. Most of the females on my moms' side of the family have it, including her.
So, what does this mean for me in the future? not much really, just have to keep a closer eye on my thyroid levels and watch for changes in everything, as your thyroid controls a lot of things that go on in your body. When things start to change, make sure that i get on meds as soon as possible.
I need to get my weight down, so i don't' have to worry about the weight and my heart. Not that it wasn't a concern before, but more so now. I know i need to, i just have a hard time wanting to do something about it. Feel like I've hit a new low.
But i have two kids who need their mom and that's gotta be a good motivator. I also plan on getting my hormone levels (all hormones) tested, maybe that's what's really going on with my moods and such.
Bottom line, not a death sentence, but something to be concerned over.
I was really disappointed about it, as i was hoping this would skip me. Why? who knows. I'm no more important than anyone else, no more special. Just really didn't' want to get this. Most of the females on my moms' side of the family have it, including her.
So, what does this mean for me in the future? not much really, just have to keep a closer eye on my thyroid levels and watch for changes in everything, as your thyroid controls a lot of things that go on in your body. When things start to change, make sure that i get on meds as soon as possible.
I need to get my weight down, so i don't' have to worry about the weight and my heart. Not that it wasn't a concern before, but more so now. I know i need to, i just have a hard time wanting to do something about it. Feel like I've hit a new low.
But i have two kids who need their mom and that's gotta be a good motivator. I also plan on getting my hormone levels (all hormones) tested, maybe that's what's really going on with my moods and such.
Bottom line, not a death sentence, but something to be concerned over.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)